The iPhone 5 – A Never-Ending Saga?
When the iPhone arrived in the UK in 2007, there was huge hype surrounding its release, as if it were a Hollywood blockbuster written by, directed by and starring the Lord Jesus Christ himself. The sheer number of gadgets on it alone propelled it beyond ordinary phones into a kind of ‘Swiss-army phone’ in which the ringing and the texting parts took a back seat.
The ingenious use of applications on the iPhone cemented it as a massive commercial success; even David Cameron admits to being an Angry Birds addict, which could explain the state of the country right now.
With every subsequent iPhone release, the level of expectation has been high, with Apple’s CEO proudly holding the ‘next step in technology’ aloft like that scene from the Lion King. To me, the iPhone is similar to when a band re-releases an album, following several months of expectation, only to find the ‘new material’ consists of twenty minutes of static followed by a low hum and a dog barking somewhere in the distance. The new additions are rarely a technological breakthrough and are often just advanced versions of current apps and programmes. The real difference between each iPhone has largely hinged upon the iteration of iOS that drives it.
Nevertheless, the fanfare that surrounds each new iPhone release would point to some kind of ‘Cure for Cancer’ app, but instead we get the standard evolutionary changes; faster OS, more camera pixels and a sleeker design if we’re lucky. These are all well and good in the interests of keeping the Apple coffers sufficiently stocked, but it all looks suspiciously like a men’s razors dilemma, in which the only solution is to add more razors and call it a new advancement in face-shaving technology. How many cores do you want packed into your smartphone – one, two, duo, quad, duo-quad?
With several other competitors releasing big models this year, including the eagerly-awaited Samsung S3, the new iPhone is going to have to show us some real technological advancements to succeed, and I don’t just mean the ‘extra added blade for an ultra-close shave’ advancements – I mean holographic ponies flying out of the mouthpiece, a four million megapixel camera and GPS that can literally pick you up and carry you around the globe. You might say that this is expecting too much, or that those sorts of advancements don’t actually exist outside of a sci-fi movie, but I say Apple have them all, and are holding out on us to drip-feed the technology into our lives in the most profitable way possible. So come on Apple – make the iPhone 5 the best one yet and we can all stop kidding ourselves that this is ‘the best a man can get’.